Sunday, August 31, 2008

Day out with Cousin Bebeng


Hola Bitcholas!

My cousin Marivic Masangkay, but you can call her Bebeng, is so sad because she got fired from her Call Center job. She went to me crying "Vi! Vi! natanggala ako sa trabaho!" I felt so bad kasi kakagaling ko lang sa Greenbelt shopping, di ko pa nababa yung mga shopping bags ko from Prada and Gucci when she ran to me crying.

"Oh bakit ka naman natanggal ka sa trabaho?" i asked.

"Kasi," she sobbed, "I hab dis kostumer caller, he waz asking the refair ceynter of his Wazing Masheyn..." Oh diba, pilitin pa mag-english habang nagdadrama, gaga ka.

"Then he started laffing at my engliz becoz he not understanding me... I felt so insult noh, so i said to him 'isaksak mo sa baga mo yang washing machine mo! bwaka ng inang pakshet ka! letse!!!'" she said.

"Then the caller asked for manijer and tell him the story. I deny what i do, telling him the Mr. Caller is tell a lie and i did not say bad word to him. But i did not know that our conversation is recording...so they catch me tell a lie, then i was pired! PIRED! HUHUHUHUHU!"

Then she started to make hagulgol! Yung sound ng cow ginigilitan ng buhay, dyos ko po!

So we decided to go out and have fun and forget all of her problems. We went to her favorite hangout, Market!Market! at the Fort. She said the people there are so 'cool.'

Dyos ko, mga ineng. Ang idea nya pala ng 'cool' is yung mga istambay sa pembo at cembo at comembo at kung anu-ano pang 'embo'. Nakakalurky. So i told her na pumunta sa Boni High Street, para mas-effect ang look ko. Red vintage galliano dress (C.1996) and matching shoes. We went to the park and she just went wild! "Naku, Vi, it is so superduperbyitipul pleys here! All the peepz are so social! ay Vi! Der is havaianas store! let's cheking it in and out! Social ang havaianas, my co-workers wear havaianas during the friday night shift, they are so cool and social."

"Bebeng, what's so social about tsinelas?" i asked.

"Huh? they are not tsinelas, they are Havaianas, see? H-A-V-A-I-A-N-A-S" she said

"Alam ko, tonta! you don't have to spell it out to me, gagah! Tsinelas lang yan, no matter what the spelling is!" i retorted.

"Naku, Vi, isfelling is imfortant, bcoz, once i once wear havaianas at work, but my officematez start laffing @ me. Bcoz my Havaianas are actually Havanas!!! i was so shame. So with the magic of liquid paper is write 'ai' in betweens 'v' & 'a'. but the laff even loudlier."

"Fake yung tsinelas mo." I said

"Ya, i should have know. Di talaga mapagkakatiwalaan ang mga chekwa, chekwa kasi nagbenta sa akin nun sa 168," she replied.

So she chose the most affordable pair of Havaianas there is and nakakaloka pa kasi sumigaw sya sa gitna ng store nung magkulang yung pera nya pambili.

"SHEEEEEEEEEEET! MY MONEY IS SHORT! MY MONEY IS SHORT! Huhuhuhu" she cried.

Ok fine, i used my Gold HSBC Mastercard to pay for the goddammed tsinelas. So she was finally happy. And i bought her extra pair of tsinelas from Crocs, that would make her happy for at least 6 months.

Lech. tsinelas lang pala ang makakapagpaligaya kay Bebeng.

V. xxx

Anyway, we took some pictures of her na ilalagay nya daw sa friendster nya. oh gaga.

Chonkang Chinovela



Mga Diosa,

Heto na yata ang pinaka nakakasulaok na karanasan ko sa buong napakasexy kong buhay. Mas nakakasulahok pa sa isang tabo ng jumod na binuhos sa bunganga. Jhovs darling! sorry talaga, akala ko pa naman alam mo na pag sinabi kong tunnel...sisid neng! Alam mo nmang between friends at hotdog, diba a eh priority talaga ang hotdog...di nman na tago sa iyo na hindi ako nakain diba...un lng ang source ng energy ko...churi na! churi! churi! Treat na lng kita later sa Banana Q han sa knto ung malapit sa construction! Ang sarap sarap! Ay oo nga pala sad ako! Lecheng Washington yan...mga diosa pagnakita nyo sya yayayin nyo mag tripping, paramihan ng kain ng lechon kawali...ng lamunin na ng hukay yung elepanteng yun! nyetz talaga! di bale sana kung mala elepante rin ang hotdog nya eh baka pagisipan ko pa. Iyak ako ng iyak kagabi dahil hindi ko sinipot ng ka date ko pagtapos kong mag-tunnel. Tapos umaaligod pa tong chekwang majubis na ito. Hindi na ata matatapos ang chinovela na ito. I need peace, saka titeh!

Washington ur so baboy! oink!

Che-che

PS. Veeee wud u know if single si jessica rowena..i reto mo kya washing! puhlease!

Le Jour de Porcs




Mga dhays,

Haaaay im so blue! I miss Paris! miss ko rin si ma'am nimpa, ano kaya ginagawa nila ngayun ni ser! sinubukan kong mag dvd marathon gaya mo V, may nabili si Gemmalyn na dvd set ng Lotlot and friends at Magasawa'y di biro! My god san nga ba si Marilyn Villamayor?? Anyways i make yaya Chenelyn to go shopping. I tried callin you V and bherns...seems you are busy-busyhan. Well, wala ang dragon...nasa Sta. Ana, fiesta kasi sa Sutter "Annual Katayan Festival" kaibigan nya kasi ung kagawad dun! Ewwww talaga..basta sa libreng paglamon in si ma'am Nievs!!!

Im so excired pa naman to sport my new outfits from paris, nang magback out ang chonkang chenylyn...

"Jhovs...something came up...cant join you today"

"Ano nman yun, ang linaw ng usapan natin diba?"

"Sensya na jhoverlyn...oopps tunnel...."

I swear kakalbuhin ko yung pops fernandez nya...kapag nakita ko sya!!! Tunnel? anong tunnel? wala nmang tunnel sa village nila!!! may masabi lang leche!!! So i decided to go na lang sa Rockwell alone para to make limot paris...then out of nowhere...

"Jhovs! Jhovs!..."

Dios ko sana sinusutan na lng nya ko noh!!!

"Washington?"

Ngayun alam ko bna kung bakit tumakas si cheche...

Mga ateeeh ! di ko na naiisip ang paris..kahit si ma'am nimpa...dahil sa pinabot na picture nya for cheche...i shared this hindi dahil sa gusto ko rin kyo magka nightmares at sumuka kahit wlang kinakain...Tangina ka che-che!!! kakalbuhin kita chonkkang ka!!

disgusted jhovy

Ang Chaka ni Jessica Rowena.

Hi ladies (Bee and Jo) and putah (Cece)

Guess what? I was checking out the newly opened Greenbelt 5, (I was wearing the houndstooth jacket from Dior, black satin pencil skirt and black tights from D&G, Jimmy Choo black satin pumps) and who did i see... it was Weng! Yes, Jessica Rowena Madukdok the one and only. Remember we used to tease her alot about her humungous breasts? hahaha! anyway, nakakaloka kasi nagmamamganda na ang putah. Call Center agent na daw sya, chu chu... Pero bakit kaya ganun, parang naging elitista sya once she was hired sa call center? Eh I can remember when we were classmates sa Pio del Pilar High School, chika-chika kami. Saan na napunta ang panahon? (saan na nga ba? saan na nga ba?... anubaaaaah naging Apo Hiking Society?)

anyway, she was like always bragging about her Zara clothes. ZARA??? BRAGGING??? Isn't it parang tayo pa ang nahihiya kapag naka-Zara tayo? hello, remember once we were supposed to go to a textmatez grand EB (eyeball) and need new outfits we went to Zara cause we don't have enough money for Dior or Gucci? We bought these cheap silly outfits from Zara and then we decided we aren't fabulous enough so we stayed na lang sa Luneta eating cotton candy and making pa-picture with the souvenir guy? We were so depressed, Bee maxed out her credit card and we were just there in Luneta.

Anyway, i ignored her bragging and she noticed my fabulous jacket.

"uy ganda ha!magkano bili mo nyan sa SM?" she said.

"I BEG YOUR PARDON!!!," I almost shouted.(nakakahiya nga kasi napatingin yung cute na guy shopping at Havaianas (eew, havaianas.) "This is Christian Dior by John Galliano!!!"

"ay! sorry, my wrong," she apologized. "So saang ukay-ukay mo nabili yan?"

i thought for a bit, "Saang...what?"

"Ukay-ukay, UK," she answered.

"Parang Saks Fifth Avenue ba yan or Harvey Nichols?" i asked, not knowing what she is talking about.

"ay nako forget it, tara shopping tayo!" sabi ni Rowena.

Ayoko, ang cheap mong babaeng baklang panget ka eh, nakakahiya kang kasama, mas gugustuhin ko nang sumama sa pulubing taga-Payatas na may colonostromy bag, bulag at putol ang kaliwang paa at mabaho pa sa ihi ng pusa. I wanted to say noh. kaloka

but instead, i told her: "laters! am about to be called on my cellphone."

"ang sosy-sosy naman 'Laters' pa talaga! hehehe!" sabi nya.

"hehe." i said, and once i turned my back, i cursed "Susoh mong sinlaki ng kay marissa delgado, maitim lang ang utongra."

Lech yang si Rowena. kainis. i hope you guys hate her too.

lots of hate,

V. xxx

Anyway, i took a snapshot of her habang nagpapasikat outside greenbelt 5. Nakakaloka dibah?

Thursday, August 28, 2008

From Chenelyn to Manilyn




Cheche, nabuhay kang putah ka. akala ko tuluyan nang nabiyak ang buong katawan mo sa kakapakangkang mong malanding shongkangera ka. Wala ka nang ginawa kundi bumukaka at pumatong sa mga lalake kahit sa lansangan. Kasulahok. Pero thanks pa rin sa pasalubong mo ha! mwah!



Anyway, while i have been mourning the loss of my Macbook, nagpakasasa muna ako sa mg DVD's dito sa bahay of my cousin Bebeng. Maraming DVD's dito mga ateh! may 20 in one movies! nalala-lurky. In fairness marami palang pelikula si Manilyn Reynes dati noh? Kasi ang daming Manilyn Reynes movies ni Bebeng. Idol nya pala si Mane at Keempee. Pero naloka ako mga ate dun sa "Michael and Madonna." Mga ate nakakaloka kasi nakakatakot si Rene Requiestas, buhay na, mukha nang bangkay. Ang cheezy ng production number (mas cheesy pa sa mga titeh na sinususo ni Cheche. eew) By the way, i think Manilyn plays the role of this majubis na negra in Nieves' fave soap 'Marimar'???



I bought nga pala a new laptop. Gold na sony vaio to match my cellphone. Ang ganda, mga ate! Kakainis, wala pa akong work, gastos agad. I wonder kung saan makahanap...Ayoko kasi sa Pinocchio family, napakakuripot sobra.

Ay nako, makapaglamyerda muna dun sa Greenbelt 5. I have heard bukas na ang Marc Jacobs dun. Oh joy!

Nalulurky kay Chech,

V. xxx

Presh Prom Faris



Mga Ateh!

Chenelyyyyyyn!!! can't wait for your pasalubongs. I haven't heard from VV and Bherns i think they are still abroad with the amos. Well im happy na rin dahil binisita namin yung place nila Ma'am Nimpa sa Paris...Mga dhay!! ang gandaaaah! Enjoy na rin kahit 24 oras akong asar kay Ma'am Nieves. Shes so asar talaga... I wanna make palo her head with matigas na french bread! Pasyal pasyal..syempre shopping...may mga psalubong din ako sa inyo...senysa na kyo little things lang from LV ang nabili ko..pero im sure u will love it! Its been 3 weeks na since nakabalik kami from Paris pero si Ma'am Nieves may jetlag pa rin daw...kaloka...gising buong araw tapos pati sa magdamag! di natutulog...tapos complain "i cant sleep i have jetlag..."

"tonta jetlag kapag disturb yung body clock mo...insomia yan tanga!" well hindi ko nman pwede sabhin yun diba..."ma'am gusto nyo hot choco?" haaay! back to reality mga neng...dahil nga nasa bakasyon kami na miss ni ma'am yung two-weeks ng marimar! Isang kacheapan!!! Isa lng masasabi ko.. Caridad Sanchez watta fez!! O sya nagmamarathon yung matanda...till laters mga dhays.

ob wa!

Jhovs

PS. Cheche labhan amo ang mga jomd mo sa panty! kadiri ka!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Chongkang Chenelyn!


GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURLZ!!!

Kumusta na mga Pops Fernandez nyo??? Intact pa rin ba? or pinashonkang nyo na sa mga boyz? I just got back from London for summer kasi ang init sa atin eh. Anyway, balik yaya na naman ako kasi nga i want to make takas from that Washington guy... you know naman the story diba? i don't want arranged marriage, heck i don't want any marriage noh! amputcha!

Anyway, i got you stuff from Balenciaga from Harvey Nichols! alam ko naman to the highest level ang taste ang fashion ninyo, ako nga, Otto boots lang masaya na... I am quite sure you guys will love what i brought for you!

Ang sasarap ng mga lalakeh sa London mga neng! as in ang jumbo ang mga titeh! kaso may wrapper pa, di kasi uso ang tuli dun, kaya extra cheesy ang mga hotdog dun! hihihihi.

Napalaban na naman ang pops fernandez ko dun! namaga, eto at pulang pula pa hanggang ngayon! Nyets!!!

Ayun lang, i hope you guys write soon, na-miss ko kayong lahat i swear. I will tell details about my pasalubong in my next correspondence, promise, nagmamadali kaso ako eh. May construction site 2 blocks away from my amo's place, wink!

Lots of jumod in my panties,

Che-che (mwah)