Puñetah!

Gurls, please excuse the title ah, i know it is PROFANITY, but i can't help it.

It's been quite a while since my last correspondence. I quit my job kasi with the Indian family. They wouldn't allow na kasi casual Saturdays and Sundays. (ano sila, masaya? eh super chaka ng uniform ko noh.) Well anyway, so i packed na my Louis Vuitton Carry-all and Steamer bag and put na all my stuff there. (Oy orig yun ah, kahit i-blow torch yun di masusunog, and hindi mahaharang sa airport or sa customs!)

SO eto ako nakikitira muna with my cousin Bebeng na working as Call girl sa call center. Ewan ko ba kung bakit di ko kilala yung brands nung bag nya ah alam ko fashionista din yun nung kabataan namin. kasi yung bags nya were Secosana and Cose. I don't know kung saan galing, pero whatever.

Eto nakiki-Wifi muna ako sa kapit bahay using my Powerbook. kaya mega-update na ako ulit! yehey.

Now that i have some free time on my hands, baka manood ako ng sine mamaya dun sa Makati Cinema Square.



Oy Jhuvs, thanks sa South Park DVD, super funny talaga. Actually i orgasm everytime i see Matt Stone. am i weird? lech.

xxx V.

Style or Substance

Mga Dhays,

Bherns im really sorry, but i cant really visit you and share your pains! Actually just visit you and leave you with your pains, i have lots of pains na eh of my own! Concerning naman sa necklace at earrings, just make isip na what Noxima Jackson said...in times like this, it always come down to the old age of deicision making...STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE. hmmmmm....Just keep the necklace dhay, im sure vhivhi will agree with me on this one. Well, meron akong few theories:

1. Tomboy ang amo mo kaya ka binigyan ng necklace.

2. Sadyang malibog lang ang amo mo na gusto nya maki 3way sa inyong magasawa, suhol nya ky Dudong ang hikaw at sayo naman ang kwintas.

3. Bucklah si dudong feel nya yung hikaw kaya binigay ng ma'am mo.

4. Lukareth lang ang amo mo kaya bingay sa inyo ang mga yan.

Pero di ko pa rin ma view ang angle na mya relasyon ang asawa mo at ang amo mo...we need for evidence. Kaya, for now keep those alahas...suot mo lagi, kapag naglalaba ka at nagplaplantsa...taray diba! Get well soon.

Vhi kamusta naman sa park? Nakita ka daw ni Gemmalyn (suka muna) nung isang araw! Ikaw ha, u have something u dont share...kainis!

Sige na mga dhays, magluluto pa ko ng daing! Leche talaga si ma'am Nieves. Super baho pa nman nung dry fishy like thing na un..yuck!


xxx


jhovs

PS. Bherns wait mo lang ung pinadala ko sa yong Patchi Chocolates, inorder ko pa kasi eh

Get Out!

Bernadette! Get out of the room!

got your message in my blackberry when i was in the tub relaxing with exotic Mongolian aromatherapy and music from Yo-Yo Ma in my video Ipod.

Dyos ko, papatayain ka nyang nurse mo. pero do not worry, ipapadala ko sa driver ko si Mang Edgar yung tracksuit kong yellow and matching Asics sneakers, pasensya ka na di ako pwedeng lumabas. papagalitan ako ni Madam.

We'll have to investigate na the Affair of the Necklace. Inform Jhovs.

Take care! mag-ingat ka.

xxx, V.

may i borrow naman for sometime nung necklace? taray eh.

The Affair of the Necklace

Dear Jhoverlyn and Violeta,

Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu...I am very mats upset! Too upset to even vomit lunch like I usually do! I feel like doing a jackknife on Park Avenue! Help me mga dhay...HELP ME!!!

I don't know what to make of it, but my instinct tells me something fishy is going on, and my basic instincts are usually always true! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu...Remember the Harry Winston Wreath Necklace I got from Mam Chona? I was supposed to wear it during the Emmys...but I got really upset and decided not to go. (actually ayaw man ako payagan ni mam Chona dhay na pumunta. that beeeeyotch!) I got upset kase...huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu...when Dudong saw me trying it on, he told me he had a gift for me! I was so happy because Dudong has never given me a gift before! (my Cloroxed monique lhuillier was from his family) He handed me a small box...omigosh it looked like a piece of jewelry! I thought maybe it was a princess cut diamond ring from Tiffany's, or even a vintage Cartier art deco brooch! I was the happiest chiminie alive! But when I opened the box dhays, there was a pair of earrings...it looked familiar...it was just not a pair of earrings...they were Harry Winston...it was the matching earrings of the diamond necklace Mam Chona gave me!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

I forgot what happened next. I must've fainted. I'm now at the hospital, teynks gad I have my blackberry with me. Mga dhays, are you thinking what i'm thinking?? How could Dudong afford those earrings??!! And why was it the matching earrings of the necklace?? I smell something I usually smell only at the talipapa. I don't know what to do.

O siya mga dhay, nandito na yung nurse ko si Elle Driver. She's so nice and sexy. So blonde and beautiful. She whistles all the time kaya I feel happy. Mam Sonya sent her daw to take care of me. it was nice of her after all i'm here lying in the hospital because of her. Doesn't my nurse look familiar?


Where nga ba have we seen her? Anyway, come visit me at the hospital mga dhays...I miss you and need your support through this tough time in my very eventful life.

Yours truly,

Bernadette

Pampasuka Sa Pananghalian

Mga dhays i dont need to explain pa this......Ma'am Nieves make panood noon time shows habang nakain...like nya this pair isang bucklang pacute at isang mukhang ewan...ugh! ang cheeeeeeeeeeap talaga!...magsamasama silang mga cheap sa impyerno! mas jologs pa kay jolina!


hmpf!


constipated jhovs

"I no inggiters, i upset leche!"

Ate Vhi at Bherns

Upset lang talaga ko, kasi single pa rin ako! I make channel na lng all my fraustrations sa kasal ni Bherns. pero in reality wala talaga akong pakialam kung 10 beses syang ikasal at di nya tyo invite noh! Anayin sana kipay nya! (Joke lang Bherns)


Tama na ang drama, baka magsmuds ang aking mascara, gothy pa rin ang drama ko. Last day ng luksa ko over my Pucci dress. "mamatay ka na gemmalyn, kunin ka na sana ni satanas!!!"
Comment ko lng dun kay Bherns, tungkol sa Harry Winston necklace...baka tomboy lang yang ma'am sonya mo? EWWW!

Mga dhays, im excited kasi next week magbabakasyon dito sila sir Luke at ma'am Nimpa. Halos one year din sila hindi umuwi, take note from Paris noh!. May pasalubong kya sila sa akin??? designer bag? yes! designer top? yes! yes! designer perfume? yes! yes! yes! Aba dapat lang yun noh! ako ata nagbabantay ng mga anak nila kapag lumalamyerda silang magasawa! Pero im a bit confused, di ko alam kung kanino ako mas happy kapag nakita ko, kay sir Luke or ma'am Nimpa? wala lang... At syempre it goes without saying noh, ehm si ma'am Nieves, didisplay na nman lahat ng delatang imported. Naku ung iba ata dun expired na..pero display pa rin nya! Papasikat na nman sa french nyang manugang...at im sure my ma'am nieves will make use na nman daw her second language which is "frents"...thats french kya...you're so tonta talaga nieves! hahaha!!!



au revoir

jhovs


ps. sana hindi airline kit pasalubong sa kin

Reaction Paper (parang high school, ha?)

Dear Bhee and Jhuvs,

Ay nako, i never could imagine Bherns eloping with someone. Pero it's not impossible for a hopeless romantic like her. Typical Bernadette kung baga. Well i hope na lang Dudong will make you happy, day. Pano na si sir Richard nyan? you'll leave him broken hearted. hahah.

Sayang wala ako sa wedding this could've been my look: Rinko Kikuchi in Chanel at the 79th Annual Academy awards.

Yung dress mo, for sure there's a way. why don't you cut it and make it a cocktail dress? parang si Margaret Thatcher, pinaiksian nya yung wedding dress nya para magamit pa nya in some occassions.

Sige, i'll wait for your giveaways. i think Sush and Aish will enjoy it. Kasi hilig nilang paglaruan yung James Cooper make up ni Madam Manpreet. Favorite ni Madam yang brand na James Cooper. Feeling kasi ni Madam nagiging kamukha nya daw si Sharmaine Arnaiz pag ginagamit nya daw yun (Eh feeling ko si Odette Khan ang kamukha nya noh.)

Pero i smell something fishy ha. (hindi yung kili-kili ni Patring na labandera nila Doña Ingrid.) i mean, bakit ka bibigyan ng Harry Winston ng amozona mo? we'll have to investigate further about this.

And Jhuvs, huminahon ka nga. baka naman inggiters ka lang.

Sige at pupunta pa kami ni Madam sa Podium, wag naman sana poser si Madam parang yung amozona mong si Nieves. Nakakahiya v. much.


Kisses xxx, V.


shet si Pol, nakita ko sa labas, sumesenyas punta daw kami sa park! Bakit kaya???