The Affair of the Necklace

Dear Jhoverlyn and Violeta,

Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu...I am very mats upset! Too upset to even vomit lunch like I usually do! I feel like doing a jackknife on Park Avenue! Help me mga dhay...HELP ME!!!

I don't know what to make of it, but my instinct tells me something fishy is going on, and my basic instincts are usually always true! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu...Remember the Harry Winston Wreath Necklace I got from Mam Chona? I was supposed to wear it during the Emmys...but I got really upset and decided not to go. (actually ayaw man ako payagan ni mam Chona dhay na pumunta. that beeeeyotch!) I got upset kase...huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu...when Dudong saw me trying it on, he told me he had a gift for me! I was so happy because Dudong has never given me a gift before! (my Cloroxed monique lhuillier was from his family) He handed me a small box...omigosh it looked like a piece of jewelry! I thought maybe it was a princess cut diamond ring from Tiffany's, or even a vintage Cartier art deco brooch! I was the happiest chiminie alive! But when I opened the box dhays, there was a pair of earrings...it looked familiar...it was just not a pair of earrings...they were Harry Winston...it was the matching earrings of the diamond necklace Mam Chona gave me!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!

I forgot what happened next. I must've fainted. I'm now at the hospital, teynks gad I have my blackberry with me. Mga dhays, are you thinking what i'm thinking?? How could Dudong afford those earrings??!! And why was it the matching earrings of the necklace?? I smell something I usually smell only at the talipapa. I don't know what to do.

O siya mga dhay, nandito na yung nurse ko si Elle Driver. She's so nice and sexy. So blonde and beautiful. She whistles all the time kaya I feel happy. Mam Sonya sent her daw to take care of me. it was nice of her after all i'm here lying in the hospital because of her. Doesn't my nurse look familiar?


Where nga ba have we seen her? Anyway, come visit me at the hospital mga dhays...I miss you and need your support through this tough time in my very eventful life.

Yours truly,

Bernadette